Week 3.2 Apocalypse Now Please!

The first thing I want to address this week is an apology to anyone my bad grammar or miss spelling offends. It is not meant to offend and I’ll give you a personal apology and a special seat on the bus for the apocalypse, Just meet me at the mall and the short bus will be waiting there to take you to safety. Too My English Major Daughter I appreciate the offer for help but I think I’ll just stumble though this. I know your not one of the snobs! I mean smart people that will survive because they can spell zombie and diagram it in a sentence. And I all I can do is put a bullet though there head at 200 yards.

So this week is Where! There has been many hours of debate about this around my house. As there is for most topics around the apocalypse. I myself after much deliberation will choose to go with good old farm land. One of my high ranking consultants has her eye on a castle not far away because it already has some shooting towers. I personally have to pull rank stay with the farm. I can put up a temporary tower in a hour or two and I have quarter mile in any direction to see danger approaching and nice flat ground. It would take me a week to clear the ground near the castle and the creek that is close gives it a blind spot. But you can bet we will work on the castle as plan “B” always have a plan “B”.

Will it start with the squirrels? They have been stock piling nuts for years

The official stance is look for land that has a clear 360 view from a tower or lookout point. Can plant and raise food for a longer term survival. Where ever you chose make sure you can defended it affectively in 24 hours or less. Keep in mind cars won’t run for ever and live stock has to be fed also. Most people want to head for the hills, the hills can hide you better but also means things can hide and hunt you better. Most the time hills and mountains mean you will spend more time fighting the elements instead of fighting to stay alive. 

Now my choice also assumes I have a clan with me of the people I’ve chose. If I was in it just by myself I might choose to head for the hills but it would be one tough battle. Most mountain men barely could do it when game was plentiful and Indians just wanted your scalp. Now days Game is scarce and Zombie will want to eat your brains.

Next week - Where and what supplies do I stock pile?

Week 2 Apocalypse Now Please!

The first good thing about writing about the apocalypse is I might finally learn to spell this freaking word.. Or most likely not *sigh*.

So planning who is with me and who isn’t can be a lot tougher for me then say a redneck (not to stereo type but it’s the apocalypse and you don’t have to be PC during that), I’m sure all his buddies can shoot and most likely owns guns. I work for a software company! Nerds, Geeks, Dweebs and pasty people that don’t even have derogatory term for them surround me. I look around and I see the people I have to choose from and the country song “Bubba Shot the Jukebox” starts to play in my head and I wonder if maybe we have a Bubba working down in the mail room. Then I Realize it comes down to well they’re friends and if you want to be different than the Zombies you have to draw the line some were. Now amid ally some of my friends them try hard. They play video games involving Zombies, and a small percentage own guns, and the rest could identify one if ask to. So there will have to be some training right off the bat for most of them.

 

With that said I draw the line at close friends and family, the rest Well they already have the complexion of a zombie and it will probably be an improvement on their social life. So my plan is me, my family and a hand full of close friends will be whom I chose to let in on my secret plans.

Telling my family isn’t so hard my two Daughters have been hearing it for years and are well trained for the inevitable. They even usually discuses it with the current boyfriends just to gauge their reaction (and it if any of them show up I can always shoot first then ask questions). Which now that I think more about it might be why my daughters date don’t hang around very long (sorry digressed). My wife is with me 100% I can tell because when it’s discussed she holds the eye rolling to a minimum. My brother in-law luckily is a redneck and like me looks forward to the day, pretty much anytime he gets to shoot something is a good time for him. Then telling five of my close friends might be a little tougher but if I do it on a video game night with drinking involved. I should not get too many have you lost your mind looks.

So this small select group of people whom I’ve chosen to ride out the Apocalypse with will know the secret meeting place, the rest of you out there meet us at the mall were I’m sure it is safe. Oh and they will have the Password for the compound which is of course any word other than a guttural moan that a zombie makes. When asked for a password any none response will be rewarded with a bullet to the brain.

Well we have decided who! Next week we’ll can talk about where.

Week 1 Apocalypse Now Please!

I saw the below graph today and it made me stop and think, Not only do I spend hours a week shooting zombies on call of duty I do think about this way more than any normal person should. It probably a good thing I doubt you could find one person that considered me normal. It does explain why if we (being men) think about sex 80% of the time and the zombie Apocalypse 20% it’s no wonder we have to be reminder to take out the garbage and stuff. We have a lot on our minds!

Would it really be so bad? I mean assuming you’re not one of the zombies and even then you can eat whomever you want, don’t get yelled at for bad table manners. But if you’re not one of the undead, going back to hunting for food and being hunted as food doesn’t sound so bad after a day sitting testing software. So as my day drags on I sit here thinking about who’s with me and who I see as a Zombie bait. The People who you will let in on your secret plans where to meet what to bring, And the people you tell to meet you at the mall parking lot and make sure you make lots of noise.

So my weekly Blog will be how I would survive the end!